Mother guilt and autism

by Benison O'Reilly on Saturday, July 24th, 2010

I thought Seana was back in Australia last week, but now find out it’s actually this coming week. I must say that taking four children – including one on the spectrum – on an extended overseas holiday by herself  (her husband was working) was very brave of Seana, although she may prefer to substitute another adjective for ‘brave’!  I know she has plans for a couple of blogs, so stay tuned.

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about our parenting skills being judged by others, those who don’t know the  sheer hard work and never flagging commitment required to raise a child with an ASD.

Thus it was timely to come across this blog  Proving You’re a Good Parent from the New York Times. It was written by Liane Kupferberg Carter, the mother of an 18 year old boy with autism. In it she describes how she found herself explaining to a representative of the court why she should retain guardianship over her son.

It is probably less upbeat that most of the posts on our blog, but it’s so beautifully written that I thought it important to share. It also goes to the heart of mother guilt. Seana and I are currently collaborating on a book  about perinatal anxiety and depression and its surprising how often mother guilt raises its ugly head. We women seem to judge ourselves so harshly. When you have a child who doesn’t live up to society’s expectations that guilt can become an even heavier burden.

Anyway, it’s impossible not to be moved by Ms Carter’s story. Please read.

On a brighter note,  we’ve had the good news that we will soon have a bright, shiny, new, standalone blog for the Australian Autism Handbook,  with enhanced features and a much-needed  search function. Watch this space for updates…

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