‘Australian Story’ and autism mums

by Benison O'Reilly on Tuesday, August 11th, 2009

Welcome to the inaugural blog for the Australian Autism Handbook. The timing is auspicious, thanks to this week’s Australian Story (ABC TV), featuring Ian, Nicole and Jack Rogerson.

www.abc.net.au/austory/

Nicole, a good mate of Seana’s, in particular, for several years, is actually a contributor to the Where Are They Now? chapter in the AAH.

One of the comments Nicole makes in our book is:

I appreciate that everyone carries their own personal expectations and what they consider to be a level of success. I am sure some days people look at Jack with me and think ‘oh that poor woman, she’s got that disabled child’. Whereas, I think I’ve got the best autistic kid in the world.

I thought this an interesting observation, because for any who knows Nicole the last thing she inspires is pity. She’s a human dynamo, a gifted public speaker, and an unflagging advocate for early intervention.  She also hosts a great party and laughs a lot.

Autism is often portrayed negatively by the mainstream press, and for some families affected by severe autism maybe that is the reality, but our family life, like the Rogerson’s, is overall pretty good.  

Recently I was taken aback when some people expressed in both word and deed that they felt sorry for me. Maybe to them I was just the poor mother of Joe, the boy with autism, but I certainly never think of myself that way.  I have many identities:  I am a wife and also the mother of two fine, young, typically-developing boys. I am daughter, a sister, an aunt.  I am pharmacist (although I don’t think I’ve dispensed a medicine since 1992). I am now a writer.  I am a tuckshop mum, and a soccer mum. I am a theatre goer, and a gym goer, and a member of a political party. Yes, autism is a passion and interest of mine but I don’t feel in any way defined by it.

So I hope I speak for many parents of children with an ASD when I say, don’t feel sorry for us, or, for that matter for our children. We don’t want pity, but I think we’d all appreciate some extra understanding and support.

Tags: acceptance, autism, families